Musings on Celebrity Prednisone Moon Faces, Including Mine

Musings on Celebrity Prednisone Moon Faces, Including Mine

I’m having so much fun back to work doing a podcast and can’t wait to get to the videos again. It’s been a very long year and and a half hiatus. I have been too ill to work AND be a mom, so I chose to be a mom when I had any extra energy. The unfortunate reason I was down so long turned out to be an overlooked simple fix. When you have a larger medical problem that your doctors are grappling with, in my case an auto-immune disease, they tend to miss something right in front of their faces. In this case I was suffering from severe, chronic anemia. In other words, Dracula would have passed up drinking my blood, because, meh.

Imagine you have no oxygen in your muscles. You wake up tired. Your arm is exhausted just from brushing your hair. Sitting in a chair to long is just too exhausting. And you have a 2 year old child who wants to be played with, spun around, run around, taken for ice cream…it has been a tough, tough year. So after multiple blood transfusions my doctors were like, gee, why does she keep needing blood transfusions? She’s either a vampire, or anemic. Whew!

As I emerge from my terrible too long hiatus, I am happy to report, I still have a sense of humor, although it is still a little dulled by some pain and a host of prescription medications I’ve had to take (all legal!) Therefore, if this post isn’t entertaining, it’s not my fault.

The worst of all these medications might be prednisone, and I have been up and down on it for over a year now.

Prednisone is taken for so many things, it’s one of those miracle drugs that helps a lot of ailments because it’s anti-inflammatory. For example, here’s a list from WebMD. Just look at the variety!

“… arthritis, blood disorders, breathing problems, severe allergies, skin diseases, cancer, eye problems, and immune system disorders.”

In other words, everything.

With only the mild side effect that you become a wigged out, psychotic, angry creature of the night (insomnia). This is, no exaggeration, exactly what it does to you:

 

Here are some more side effects…in other words, everything and anything uncomfortable and horrible.

Prednesone also changes the size and shape of your face. So last year while I was losing a ton of actual weight, not being able to eat more than maybe a fourth of my normal diet, my face gained it. Perhaps prednesone just squeezes it up your body like a toothpaste tube. My body is back to its normal size, (and then some because of the intense, prednisone hunger) but I had to go on “the dreaded pred” again recently and my face ain’t pretty.

They call it “moon face,” which I think must be racist (???), but also, kind of an understatement. I call it “Jupiter Face.” Here are some celebrity examples:

 

No, my Progressive politics didn't make my face puffy. It's Prednesone!

No, my Progressive politics didn’t make my face puffy. It’s Prednesone!

Moon Face or Jupiter Face?

Moon Face or Jupiter Face?

Oh, wait, he just got fat. Nevermind.

Oh, wait, this is just fat. Nevermind.

Yooouuuu…don’t look so marvelous!

My Prednisone face. Not only has it puffed my face up, but it’s made me so angry I’ve joined ANTIFA. Cover your face and work out your anger at the same time! Maybe they’re all on prednisone?

I don’t want to put my Jupiter face on camera. I’m itching to make a video, but I’m going to have to delay it until I can look in the mirror without seeing a stranger looking back at me. Maybe I’ll start out with How To Contour a Prednesone fat Jupiter face; Make-up tutorials are really popular so there might be some viral potential there.

I’m so happy to be back doing something and the podcast is lots of fun. Tell me what you’d like to see me do in the comments below, or who you’d like me to have on my show. What do you prefer?

A) Podcast
B) News video series
C) Satire videos
D) All of the above!

You’re in luck, because I’m doing “D.”

 

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Comments

  1. can’t wait for your videos again. i’m pretty sure i speak for all your fans when i say i don’t care how fat your face is, i just want you back.besides,i like “plump” girls

  2. Well you most definitely still have your sense of humor

  3. We wish you a Merry Christmas, happy new year and pray that you can recover from the stupid doctors who use the “pick one from column X and hope it does something” method of quackery. Damn doctors are all in the pockets of BIG pharma and push krap that is killing off the population.

  4. Chairman Miao : January 9, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    I think you should do comedy videos and more serious podcasts (the one with the history guys was excellent) Why don’t you invite dr Paul Hsieh to talk about Obama Care?

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